I am Lacy. I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a physical therapist. I graduated from a great high school,
attended college at a Top 25 university, and got my Doctorate degree from Duke. My plan was to become a Doctor,
marry my High School sweetheart, move back to our hometown, have babies, and have a
successful career as a mom and a Physical Therapist. I had it all figured out and I had worked super hard to attended college at a Top 25 university, and got my Doctorate degree from Duke. My plan was to become a Doctor,
marry my High School sweetheart, move back to our hometown, have babies, and have a
make the most of the opportunities I was blessed with. Okay, okay, I realize how this sounds, I am making you
want to smack me a little bit. Just give me a minute here, I have a point and I'm seriously not as stuck up as I
sound. My point is that in the midst of all my plans, I ended up adding in a four year journey through pelvic pain.
sound. My point is that in the midst of all my plans, I ended up adding in a four year journey through pelvic pain.
Somewhere in the middle of of all of my young adult life, I had sex for the first time. From this very first time
I felt excruciating pain. Like, not discomfort or just a little pain, I am talking a knife scraping the walls of my
vagina pain. Pain that I couldn’t just endure by taking a Tylenol or having a glass of wine. Suddenly I was
faced with the thought that I wouldn’t ever be able to enjoy sex with the love of my life, the person who made
me better, happy, and safe. The problem with pelvic pain is that NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT so no one knows
what to tell you when you mention how much sex hurts to them. You get things like “Oh, keep at it, it should
get better” or “That stinks, I don’t know what to tell you, that never happens to me.” Even my gynecologist
had NO idea what to say to me. She told me that everything looked fine. She referred me to a sex therapist.
I felt excruciating pain. Like, not discomfort or just a little pain, I am talking a knife scraping the walls of my
vagina pain. Pain that I couldn’t just endure by taking a Tylenol or having a glass of wine. Suddenly I was
faced with the thought that I wouldn’t ever be able to enjoy sex with the love of my life, the person who made
me better, happy, and safe. The problem with pelvic pain is that NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT so no one knows
what to tell you when you mention how much sex hurts to them. You get things like “Oh, keep at it, it should
get better” or “That stinks, I don’t know what to tell you, that never happens to me.” Even my gynecologist
had NO idea what to say to me. She told me that everything looked fine. She referred me to a sex therapist.
Here’s the thing, I am so fortunate to have no major issues with my childhood. I was not abused, I had a
totally normal relationship with my parents (specifically with the men in my life), so I knew that my problem
was not predominantly psychological. I knew it was a physical problem. It took me a full year before I had
the guts to call the number on the card and make an appointment with this therapist. When I showed up at
her office I had no idea what to expect. Eventually during that hour session, she decided that my pain was,
in fact, due to something physically wrong and she referred me to the UNC Pelvic Pain Clinic in Chapel Hill, NC.
totally normal relationship with my parents (specifically with the men in my life), so I knew that my problem
was not predominantly psychological. I knew it was a physical problem. It took me a full year before I had
the guts to call the number on the card and make an appointment with this therapist. When I showed up at
her office I had no idea what to expect. Eventually during that hour session, she decided that my pain was,
in fact, due to something physically wrong and she referred me to the UNC Pelvic Pain Clinic in Chapel Hill, NC.
At this point there were two people other than myself who knew about what I was dealing with. My fiance
(now husband), and my BFF of forever. I carried this around with me all the time, every day. When you have
pelvic pain you assume you are alone because again, NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT. I was so ashamed not to
be a normally functioning woman who couldn’t provide something so basic for the person I loved. I was terrified
that this was going to forever be my normal. I felt like a failure as a woman.
(now husband), and my BFF of forever. I carried this around with me all the time, every day. When you have
pelvic pain you assume you are alone because again, NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT. I was so ashamed not to
be a normally functioning woman who couldn’t provide something so basic for the person I loved. I was terrified
that this was going to forever be my normal. I felt like a failure as a woman.
I made an appointment at UNC and went alone the first time, I have no idea why I thought that was a good idea.
I think I was keeping this secret so close to my heart that I didn’t even want my fiance to feel like he needed to
help me carry this burden. I sat on the table and my doctor listened to my history quietly. The next thing I knew
she was telling me exactly what was wrong and that she could fix it. Without even touching me, she knew exactly
what it was that was causing my pain for the past two years. Her whole world revolved around pelvic pain and
researching the causes and treatments. I immediately burst into tears as she showed so much empathy, as she
talked about how emotional and devastating it is for her patients. Yep. Exactly. Clearly this was a woman who
WAS talking about it! I left with a prescription for a medication, a cream, some instructions on exercises.
For some reason between her office and my car my brain responded by totally shutting down. I think hearing a
diagnosis out loud just freaked me out. I did absolutely nothing she asked me to. I was the quintessential
noncompliant patient. But, about 6 months later I had my follow up with her and this time, I was ready. I had
processed it, I had come to terms with it, I was ready to deal with it head on. It wasn’t scary to me anymore.
I widened my circle of trust and told three of my best friends from PT school but besides that I kept this circle
small. That is until I scheduled my surgery. Conservative treatments didn’t work and I was ready to move on.
I told my family, my brand new boss (I had just started working as a PT only a few months early), all my brand
new coworkers, and my friends. I can tell you first hand that nothing freaks your new boss out quite the
way that saying “Hey Boss, I need vagina surgery” does. When I got out of that surgery, I felt like a new person.
I was liberated, I was free. I had no more pain with intercourse and I had no more shame over what I went through.
It wasn’t my fault. From four years of shame and pain came a passion for using this to help other
woman (and men) in my shoes. To be a voice and advocate for those people dealing with the “unspoken”
problems that lead to isolation, dysfunction, embarrassment.
I think I was keeping this secret so close to my heart that I didn’t even want my fiance to feel like he needed to
help me carry this burden. I sat on the table and my doctor listened to my history quietly. The next thing I knew
she was telling me exactly what was wrong and that she could fix it. Without even touching me, she knew exactly
what it was that was causing my pain for the past two years. Her whole world revolved around pelvic pain and
researching the causes and treatments. I immediately burst into tears as she showed so much empathy, as she
talked about how emotional and devastating it is for her patients. Yep. Exactly. Clearly this was a woman who
WAS talking about it! I left with a prescription for a medication, a cream, some instructions on exercises.
For some reason between her office and my car my brain responded by totally shutting down. I think hearing a
diagnosis out loud just freaked me out. I did absolutely nothing she asked me to. I was the quintessential
noncompliant patient. But, about 6 months later I had my follow up with her and this time, I was ready. I had
processed it, I had come to terms with it, I was ready to deal with it head on. It wasn’t scary to me anymore.
I widened my circle of trust and told three of my best friends from PT school but besides that I kept this circle
small. That is until I scheduled my surgery. Conservative treatments didn’t work and I was ready to move on.
I told my family, my brand new boss (I had just started working as a PT only a few months early), all my brand
new coworkers, and my friends. I can tell you first hand that nothing freaks your new boss out quite the
way that saying “Hey Boss, I need vagina surgery” does. When I got out of that surgery, I felt like a new person.
I was liberated, I was free. I had no more pain with intercourse and I had no more shame over what I went through.
It wasn’t my fault. From four years of shame and pain came a passion for using this to help other
woman (and men) in my shoes. To be a voice and advocate for those people dealing with the “unspoken”
problems that lead to isolation, dysfunction, embarrassment.
 |
| My "circle of trust" in PT school on the night before our graduation, Duke PT 2009 |
Today, I am married with three healthy children after conceiving them naturally thanks to UNC (another reason
I have remained a Carolina fan even after attending Duke grad school). I have the most beautiful son and
incredible twin daughters. I work at an amazing PT clinic (Advanced Physical Therapy Solutions) with
exceptional therapists and an owner who lets me pursue my passion. I specialize in Pelvic Health PT and
make it my purpose to help people with pelvic pain, sexual dysfunction, prolapse, abdominal separation,
bowel and bladder dysfunction, constipation, incontinence, pregnancy related pain, and more. Admittedly
it’s somewhat of a strange thing to be passionate about but I have a vested interest in getting people better.
I hope if you recognize any of these as being something you or someone you know is dealing with you will
seek help. For goodness sake, let’s start TALKING about pelvic health so that people don’t have to feel so
alone. Help is out there.
I have remained a Carolina fan even after attending Duke grad school). I have the most beautiful son and
incredible twin daughters. I work at an amazing PT clinic (Advanced Physical Therapy Solutions) with
exceptional therapists and an owner who lets me pursue my passion. I specialize in Pelvic Health PT and
make it my purpose to help people with pelvic pain, sexual dysfunction, prolapse, abdominal separation,
bowel and bladder dysfunction, constipation, incontinence, pregnancy related pain, and more. Admittedly
it’s somewhat of a strange thing to be passionate about but I have a vested interest in getting people better.
I hope if you recognize any of these as being something you or someone you know is dealing with you will
seek help. For goodness sake, let’s start TALKING about pelvic health so that people don’t have to feel so
alone. Help is out there.
 |
| Our wedding in 2006 while I was still in the middle of my quest to find answers to my pain. |
Lacy Kells PT, DPT
Fayetteville's Down Low Physio
For more info about our clinic please visit aptsnc.com
