This blog is a guest post that I got permission to adapt from Instagram. My best friend Ashley is currently on maternity leave with her second son and shared some thoughts as she is home working hard to keep baby boy happy and healthy. I love her real talk and her thoughts as processes going back to work. Enjoy!
Maternity Leave. What does it look like? Is it a vacation?
It’s such a weird thing, you go to school working toward a career for so many years, you bust your butt to grow within that career and then before you know it it's time to expand your family. As a mom, a lot of that initial change falls to you. When you find out you’re pregnant, everything changes.
You may not be telling people about the pregnancy yet, but it’s consuming all of your thoughts and plans. You wonder how this will change your family, yourself, your career progression. It’s a bittersweet source of anxiety at first. Then you share your news, and somehow anything that happens in your career has a filter over it. Is this because I’m pregnant? Will my coworkers be mad at me for not pulling my weight? Will I lose out on opportunities because I chose to have a family??
You may not be telling people about the pregnancy yet, but it’s consuming all of your thoughts and plans. You wonder how this will change your family, yourself, your career progression. It’s a bittersweet source of anxiety at first. Then you share your news, and somehow anything that happens in your career has a filter over it. Is this because I’m pregnant? Will my coworkers be mad at me for not pulling my weight? Will I lose out on opportunities because I chose to have a family??
Then you have the baby and it’s time for maternity leave. It’s a weird place to be, having worked so many years to be able to work every day in your field. Now you are at home, focused 24/7 on this tiny little person that has turned your life upside down. In so many ways it is SO. MUCH. HARDER. than daily work and in other ways it feels like you haven’t (can’t—sleep deprivation is real) use your brain anymore.
We all know that maternity leave here in the US is pretty dreadful, I’m lucky that I can chose to take 3 months off, albeit unpaid. For me, I got only a super small percentage of my pay by filing short term disability (though can we all agree that having a baby is not a disability?!!?)
Lately,I’ve been thinking about this transition into motherhood. It’s so different the second time around. I love the newborn phase. Yes, it’s hard as hell. I’m tired, like super tired. And yet, my main responsibility and to-do list everyday is to take care of me and to take care of the baby. I can shift all my resources and energy to those goals.
I think the hardest part about motherhood for me was with my transition back to work. If I’m doing something, I’m going at it 100%, so with my return to work I didn’t want to halfway do it. I wanted to be just as on top of it as I was pre babies. And now I have this new focus of being a great mom whenever I’m home, which is hard when you are awake every 45 minutes the night before (yup, that's what my firstborn did for a while when I first went back to work). Nighttimes get more stressful because I’m always thinking about how it’s going to affect my performance at work the next day. I’m short with my kid and my husband because of this stress and because I’m just. so. tired. By the end of the week I remember laying on my kitchen floor, staring at the ceiling too tired to make dinner, yet arguing with my husband because I didn’t want to order food in (it would mess up the budget (#realtalk here)).
What about you guys? What was easier for you? The early newborn days or later in the game when life got busier (like the return to work or other obligations??)
#momlife #realtalk #fourthtrimester #newborn #womeninhealthcare #momsinhealthcare #workingmom #sleeptraining #sleepdeprivation
Dr. Ashley Chandler is a Physical Therapist currently on maternity leave after the birth of her second son. She is a Certified Oncology Specialist and Certified Manual Therapist who is passionate about Oncology rehab and Lymphedema management. She is a wife and a mom to two awesome boys and a very fluffy Golden Doodle. Find her on Instagram @ashleychandleryoga or on Facebook at Ashley Chandler PT, DPT, CLT
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